Updated: Sep 13
There Is no doubt that traveling is one of the most exhilarating experiences in the world. The opportunity to detach from your day-to-day routine and teleport to sipping cocktails on an island is something we can all use these days. One of the biggest factors that play a part in your vacation is who you decide to bring along. We have all heard the theory that hardly any female friendships survive trips to Miami. While I do not think it is Miami itself that rips friendships apart, there are important aspects of picking travel buddies that do not go into consideration. To avoid vacation ending friendship spirals, here are tips to consider before going on vacation with someone.
Tip #1: Honesty and Transparency is best from all members
When the planning of a trip starts, while you do not want to be the Debbie downer, but it is important to be honest about your expectations on the trip. If there are certain group excursions that you know you will not or cannot participate in or lodging accommodations, you are unhappy with express your concern. If you realize that a lot of the itinerary are things you are not happy with express that. However, the way you express these concerns will play a big factor. Most likely the host has done a lot of work to organize logistics, so express things you are not satisfied with, but also know there will be areas you may need to compromise.
Tip #2: Money Matters
Money troubles are usually in the top 3 reasons friendships come back dismantled. Issues ranging from someone not having enough on the trip and others unexpectedly having to pay larger portions to someone suddenly not willing to pay for something that everyone thought was agreed upon. The best way to avoid these mishaps is to figure out your personal budget way before the trip. And whatever your budget, have at least 20-30% extra. There are always unexpected expenses that pop up on vacation so be prepared. If you decide to be the person who puts things on your tab for others, make it known that payments for reimbursement will be expected later. When it comes to money, do everything you can to not make money an issue on a trip.
Tip #3: Resolve issues before the trip
Unresolved issues are also another reason most friendships come back severed. Most of the time it results in a small issue leading up to an explosive argument that’s been brewing for over a year. It may not be easy but if you care about a friendship and you know there are strong feelings you need to express, it may be best to have the conversation before a trip, and I don’t mean a few days, maybe a month before. On vacation, your trip is likely to be filled with plenty of alcohol, and everyone knows that if there is ever a time when a conflict is likely to erupt, it’s when alcohol is involved. Avoid this drama at all costs and invite your friend to lunch and personally discuss these matters, once an argument happens on a group trip the situation will suddenly turn into everyone’s business.
Trip #4: Be honest BUT reasonable about your boundaries
It is important to be honest about what you want or don’t want on your trip, but it is also important to be reasonable. For example, if you are adamant in having your own hotel room as you will need time to yourself to unwind, that is fair. However, if having your own room is out of your price range or you are expecting to get the only solo room over the birthday girl or host of the trip then chances are you are being unrealistic. It’s ok to have wants on this trip, but make sure you are reasonable at the same time.
Trip #4: Matching Energy is needed
While everyone may not be on a 10 everyday of your trip, especially if its longer than 3 days, it is important that everyone can vibe with everyone. Even if you are not as close with everyone on the trip, the ability to put on a smile and have a good time is the attitude that is needed. The goal of almost all trips is to have a great time, make new memories, and make it home safely. If you are going with fun as the main objective everything should fall into place.
Trip #5: Not every issue is worth confrontation
Spending a prolonged amount of time out of your comfort zone can cause small hiccups in your trip. While I never want to encourage anyone to hold in negative emotions, decide if what you need to discuss can wait or is it something that can peacefully resolved while on the trip. Clear and concise communication can alleviate plenty of problems with travel buddies. But you don’t want to find yourself in a different confrontation every day of the trip. Evaluate if what you are feeling can wait until everyone returns home and you can have a private discussion with the other parties involved. How you feel matters on this trip, but it is not only your trip to consider, but you should also consider the risk putting a heavy damper on everyone else’s’ time. Another key point. Avoid involving others in your issue with someone else. Most times a one-on-one conversation can peacefully resolve things, but one person feeling like they are being attacked from several individuals is likely to give the opposite outcome
Trip #6: Pay back what you owe
A lot of times during travel, someone will pay the groups share of certain expenses to make logistics easier to handle. Expenses like transportation, group dinner, and other excursions are usually paid by one person, and it is left to other to later pay their balance. If you want to be seen as a great person to invite on the group trips, here is an idea that is not up for debate… Pay back your share of fees immediately. Sometimes a person can feel awkward for sending a follow up message regarding money, especially if an agreement for payment was already stated. Set a reminder if needed but do what you can to pay back that balance ASAP. Even if you need to ask for some extra time to pay them back, most of the time the person will be understand, but avoid a mishap over money at all costs.